Technology As Innovator

Self-help gives your a Weapon

Are you sure that weapon fits you, or have you had the might to wield it?

Self-helps are designed to give you techniques, rather than a foundation on which techniques are applied. Imagine: a foundation of your character is like the base and frame of a house and techniques bricks and mortars. The beauty of the house’s bearing may attract people at first, but it is the base and frame that keeps it stable and functioning as a shelter - a house’s first and foremost purpose. Imagine further: how does someone neglected for his/her inner beauty running around trying every patches of advice look?

Besides, one thing I don’t feel easy about many self-helps or quick fixes is their headlines: “Self-helps for Lazy people”, “How to perform this in 10 minutes”. It’s true that these headlines sell for rushing people. It’s true that some can be more efficient applying these quick fixes, but is it true that one can be truly more effective after some hours? All successful people work hard; differentiation in level of success depends on how smart each individual works. All work hard, no other less painful way. Realize the clear line between selling and helping.

Foundation is your Might

Foundation consists of principles of good living. Many principles are universal across the globe, and stand through time. Integrity, temperance, courage, responsibility… are a few to name. Referring to human, the foundation is your character.

It’s easier to teach ones with firm foundation some techniques and they will continue to develop by themselves.

Foundation is the streamline which guides you through life. Your behaviors, attitude and skills all depend on the foundation you build within yourself. It is what makes your thinking, feeling and doing consistent. Your character is the root answer to any doubts and questions.

Most of all, developing a foundation is neither easy nor quick. No shortcut is available. Reviewing back, self-helps are not corners for you to cut either; they extend and strengthen your foundation.

One example: How to win friends

Certain self-helps teach you to

• Smile
• Remember the name
• Encourage others to talk about themselves
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
• Make the other person feel important
• and etc.

What do you notice? They are all actions. What lies beneath to make an infrastructure and bind these actions together harmoniously is the foundation we’re discussing.

One foundation is your genuine friendship. You will win genuine friends if you are a good friend in the first place. Some principles integrated into a good friends include honesty, loyalty, giving. When you are good in nature, you have friends. Applying techniques helps you to hasten and beautify the process.

Principles are primary. Actions and techniques are auxiliary. Do not confuse them.

How to utilize full power of self-helps

Once you have had the internal strength of foundation principles, only then, I believe, will you see the true power of self-helps: like One with Might and Masteries equipped with Good Weapons and Techniques.

Another Illustration

1. When one rapidly add good practice to his doings while the foundation has not been strong enough…

…it is no more than this degenerate

2. Instead, develop your inner strength and you’ll cover them all

It takes a great deal of Confidence and sometimes Courage to be able to grow in a stable and sustainable manner.

I received this joke from a friend via IM: “You are truly a ‘modern’ young person if you have more than 300 numbers in your cell-phone and less than 3 of them ever call you”

It’s a pity I wasn’t able to sense the humor out of this statement. It is true that I have more than hundreds of numbers in my cell-phone and half a thousand contacts in my IM lists. It is also true that the number of people ever call me, or remember my birthday is relatively small compared to the total. But it is no matter. I call my friends every 3 months to save them the efforts of buzzing me; I organize get-togethers for different groups twice a year to warm up the relationship; I shout out if I want people to know my coming birthday will be next Friday so they won’t have to create a reminder; I even shamelessly publicize and spread my wish-list to save time for them for wondering what to buy for me. I go the extra miles from the boundary of my emotional territory. I choose to be straight-forward and open to receive the kind of response I expect. Not all are interested in my dust-kicking; but for the few that reply, I see their attachment, and I will be spending more time for those who care.

Of course, there is the cost I have to pay. Time, communication expense, misunderstanding, amusement are just a few to name. But if I don’t invest, return is zero. Worse, I would be spending time tormenting myself and blaming life. Life’s ungrateful and human is forgetful. That’s the very thing one needs to accept and find positive way to solve. There’s nothing wrong with upturning the habit. Spending energy to attract results in more positive outcomes than converging that energy into an internal and fragile melancholic bubble of torment.

The difference only comes to ones who choose to grow out of the average and be more proactive about their life. Pardon me, I might be too serious, but living effectively should never be a joke.